Ness, the girl I shared everything to.

I don't see why any men would like me to be honest. I look like a child more than half of the time.
I'm always mistaken for being in middle school or a freshmen in high school. Maybe it is just me and my mind. I don't see myself as a girl going on 19. I see myself as a young preteen or at the latest 16.

I'm not tall or beautiful. I'm an average girl with no life and a low self esteem.
At times I do have my moments where my confidence is high and I do crazy things but minutes later
I go back to being my shy, awkward self. Being shy is a curse. No matter how much I try I cannot escape it. It has become a part of me and I have learned to deal with it. If whom ever I am with can not be patient with me and accept me then there is no use but to end the relationship. I really wish that I could satisfy you but I can't. I know I can't and it's nothing that can be changed because I've tried for years.



I always get emotional when I talk about something I believe in or something that I want but can't do or have. I have such strong feelings for animals, people and life. I feel like I was put on earth to help something or save a life. I do not care if I die trying but I want to be able to make someones life happier or better and somehow I have. It seems that people always tell me that I bring a smile to their face. That I make them happy and they feel loved when I'm around them. That I bright up the room when I walk in.
I never thought that someone would feel that way about me or even say something like that because in my world I'm just a girl. I know I want to make people happy but I don't even notice it when I do it. Unless they are sad then I try to do or say something to make them feel better.

I'm not sure if I really saved her life or not but she was my first best friend. I would talk to her every day with big huge paragraphs and I know in my heart that I love her and I miss her. We don't talk anymore because my friendships with people never seem to last forever. It always starts getting awkward and we just have nothing else to say to each other. We wouldn't have mind if we could have just enjoyed each others company without saying anything but I've never met her. She lives in Canada and I live here, in Texas. If I ever saw her here, if I ever got the chance to miss her I would hug her and kiss her.
I cried so much for her and even now my nostalgia for her is a lot greater than anyone else that I've ever missed. To this day I still draw her sometimes. Me and her hugging and just being being happy.