The Last Song.

This is my last blog.

I want you to know that you're beautiful and that I love you.
No matter how many times someone brings you down you need to get back up.
You need to be yourself and try to make others happy, be the person everyone wants to go to
to feel better or have a piece of advice. Bright up the room with your smile.
If there is anything I learned from being myself is that being sweet and caring is the best medicine you can give anyone and just like a drug people love you for it.

Don't ever give up and just try harder.
There is so many opportunities, so many chances you need to take them all.
Follow your heart and listen to your brain, think before you speak.
Make people proud of you and happy for you.
Be happy for how  beautiful the world is, for what we have and what we will lose.
Things won't always be there so you need to appreciate them.

Today I cry for something I've done. I always thought
that I was a good girl, a sweet loving girl but somehow during all this I lost myself.
" For a minute there, I lost myself... I lost myself.", "I've given all I can, it's not enough.".
All this wasn't enough. What more can I give? I feel like I've given everything... but maybe it isn't about that. I still don't know what it is. I'm waiting for it... whatever that is.
I do take my own advice and it soothes the pain for a while but it always comes back at night.
When I can't sleep and you know, that's okay because it'll be like this for a while. It will go away sooner or later. Better late the never.

Today I hugged someone to feel something and I didn't feel anything but I know I wanted to be held longer and I wanted to cry. It won't make me feel any better. it won't. I still wanted it because I remember when things like that made me feel better.

And you know I'm just crying here, as I type this up of for who ever reads it.
I feel so hopeless but I know things will get better. You just gotta try and try.
Even at my shy awkward self I've done some pretty amazing things that a shy person wouldn't normally do. They did make me happy, they made me so happy but I started hurting them. In the end I ended up alone again but it was fun while it lasted.
And you know I'll never forget because I live in memories.

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